I think it’s (relatively) safe to say that every society… every culture, has some form of expectations of the people within it. Some mold that people are expected and often pressured to fit into.
So I want to play a game…
No, not that kind of game. I want to play: Want To OR Have To
The rules are simple, I’ll cover some topics and you answer if you’re doing these things (or planning to) because you want to, or because you think that you have to. Or don’t answer, I’ll never know.
…Or will I?
Going to college
Do you really want to continue your education after getting your diploma/GED, or do you feel like you have to or society will deem you ‘unaccomplished’ without it?
Hear me out… Everyone knows the cost of tuition is always on the rise, not to mention books and expenses. You know your girl is going to check some stats, and sure enough! Not only has the all-around cost of going to college been trending upward for the past TWO decades, but Forbes reported that this cost is increasing nearly eight times faster than wages. Eight times fast than wages! That is just absurd. The obvious problem with this is that most four-year degrees don’t generate enough beginning (or even intermediate) salary to balance out student debt.
Obviously, if you are passionate about something – or genuinely just want to expand your knowledge – or whatever the reason is that you personally want to go to college, do it. BUT if that’s not the case and you just feel pressured by society (or whoever) to do it, but you actually just want to follow your favorite K-POP group on all their tours for the rest of your life, do that instead. Or at least, postpone and take some time to weigh your options.
This one could definitely be about relationships and settling down in general, but I’ll just come out and say – don’t get a boyfriend/girlfriend just because your nosey aunt keeps asking you about it at all the get-togethers.
For this one, I want to know if you really want to get married, or do you feel like you have to for your relationship to be validated or seen as ‘serious’? To be clear, I’m not talking about gas-lighting someone and leading them on for years (or any amount of time) without any real plan for commitment; that makes you an asshat, and no one likes an asshat. Don’t use this post to justify not committing to your person and kindly excuse yourself.
If you’re still here and, in fact, not an asshat – let’s continue!
As of 2020, there are a record number of people that have never been married. There are also a record number of people that never will marry. Obviously if you’re in the ‘never will marry’ group and you’re in a relationship with someone that DOES want to get married at some point… please see the asshat area mentioned earlier. BUT you and your person can both be in a committed relationship without the desire or need to be legally bound for all eternity. Dramatic, I know.
Being unmarried is so popular, that there is Unmarried Americans Week in September of every year. Yes, a full week in the US that celebrates NOT being married! And every September the Census Bureau releases survey results around the subject to mark the occasion and for some reason that downright tickles me.
So if you’re in a relationship with someone that has the same marital views as you, opting to keep the court system out of your relationship life is totally acceptable.
There are SO many topics that I could play this game with, but I am That Busy Mom so time is in short supply around here. Now that you’ve answered these questions (because I know you did), I hope this gave you something to think about, especially if these apply to you.