Here’s the thing, most people are raised with some form of right and wrong. Aka, there aren’t many situations where you’re a total fart-bag without knowing it to some degree.
As I’m sure you’ve seen on various inspirational memes or posts, not everyone has the same heart, life, and/or upbringing as you; and use it against you. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for the “rising above it all” vibe when the situation calls for it, and most do!
Here are the times that the situation does NOT call for being the better person:
Someone you know
When someone REPEATEDLY makes you feel bad
Stuff happens. People have bad days. Maybe you’ve encountered a “wrong place, wrong time” dilemma. But if you have a negative experience every time you interact with this person because of their behavior towards you, you have entered the loophole of manners, my friend.
Someone you’re (possibly) getting to know
When someone crosses a “dealbreaker” line in your morals, beliefs, or whatever is a no-fly-zone in your life. These areas aren’t always obvious to others, but if you plan on continuing whatever type of relationship with them, set that politeness down and draw your figurative line in the dirt.
Or draw a literal line, but that may be weird for everyone…
Someone you don’t know (or know well)
If you’re like me (a true-crime, serial killer, morbid junkie), then you probably know that predators depend on your manners when looking for a target. Maybe they’re following a little too close behind you on your walk home. Maybe they linger a little too long when knocking at your front door, or even in your doorway if you opened it. Or maybe they ask you for, or to do, something that makes you uncomfortable. IT’S OKAY NOT TO BE POLITE HERE. These instances open you up to everything from murder, rape, assault, and abduction.
My Favorite Murder podcast (and social media) highlights a lot of these instances while also being featured in a Buzzfeed article, “Being Polite Often Gets Women Killed”.
What’s a ‘bad feeling’?
In most of the above situations, your feeling is what guides you. It can be a sinking or sick feeling in your stomach when interacting with a person. Or, in most situations, being around that person leaves your energy (aura) a little darker, you feel unhappy or even angry/aggravated, and maybe your physical energy is drained. Because some people, especially the repeat offenders (aka jerks), are exhausting!
So if you find yourself in a situation with someone close to you, someone you are getting to know, or someone you don’t know at all, and you have a bad feeling that you can’t shake… the universe approves of your impolite, blunt, rude, or whatever reaction that doesn’t get you arrested but preserves your internal peace.